Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
