you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
