Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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