I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
