She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
