I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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