I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
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