why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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