Whats the count minus fat chicks?
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
When are your genitals available?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
