Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Of course I have a pirate flag
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
