you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
