In the future we'll all be gay
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
