Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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