Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
