His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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