the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
That accounts for only three of the penises
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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