OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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