This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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