I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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