I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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