WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
