planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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