so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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