alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
