Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
