OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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