Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
