so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
