16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
