You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
it's like iHOP with fire
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
