Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
