I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
