I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
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