I'm going to rape someone's good day.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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