ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
