i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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