My nipple is on Facebook.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
