He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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