.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
