I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
