am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
