Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
