I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
