just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
