She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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