so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
We are all done wearing pants today
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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