If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
