If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
