If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
