how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
