..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
