For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
