So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You're like the curious george of whores
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
