You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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